Another childhood Memory

I was on my way back home yesterday, it is about and hour drive.  I was changing radio stations and hit one of the religious ones that had good music.  A song came on about sending a message to your Dad that you love him.  It made me think about my Dad's.  I was very lucky to have two Dad's one blood and one step that both loved me. My parents divorced when I was about 4 years old.  I don't have any bad memories of them fighting.  I just have flashes of memory.  I remember and upstairs apartment and I would wait downstairs for my Dad when he would come home from work.  My brother broke his leg and I can remember pestering him and he had gotten a set of fenching swords, and as usual used me as practice.  I remember a Howdy Doody sign that was in one of the stores.  His hand moved waving back and forth.  Then they bought a house.  I remember a nightmare where the ghost were trying to get my feet. Until adult hood I couldn't sleep without my feet being covered.  Funny how things stay with you.  I was standing in the yard and saw a man walking with a huge animal, I think I thought it was a camel.  It was a horse, a pinto to be exact.  He had a camera and my Dad put me up on the horse with a cowboy hat on my head.  I think that is one of my most favorite pictures.  When I find the picture I will post it, I'm curious to see how many other people might have a simular picture from the 50's.  I have seen a few at some of my freinds house.  I learned to ride my first bike with training wheels naturally.  The next thing my Mom moved my brother and I in with my Grandparents who owned a store and lived in the back part of the building.  I missed my Dad and I didn't understand what was happening.   I think my mom thought I was to young to understand so she never explained what was happening.  I tell my friends now that are getting divorced and have children to Please talk to them and explain what is going on, no matter how young the children are, I think it sorta messed me up.  I think whatever happens to you when you are a child stays with you the rest of your life, and really messes you up emotionally.  What caused this post to be written was I remember asking my Mom when I was an adult, what had happened with her and my Dad.  She said that my Grandpartents wanted her to marry him even though he was older than her.  She loved him but not like a husband.  She loved him more like a brother and that she would always love him, but not as a husband.  I had forgotten that part and it popped in my head yesterday as I was driving.  I was told by a family member that my Dad didn't go to the divorce court, because he didn't want the divorce and couldn't handle going.  So he signed over everything she wanted and us kids.  A couple years after the divorce she married my Step Dad.  I couldn't have asked for a more loving and caring Dad.  Both my Dad's worked at the same place and they got along my whole life.  My Dad said his friends would ask him "don't you want to drop a motor on him, whenever my Step Dad walked by".  They worked at a auto plant.  My Dad told me he said "No it would only stop production".  I watched my other friends with divorced parents and they were just miserable.  There was always fighting and arguing and it was very hard for them to deal with, and most of them grew up being screwed up by all of the fighing.  So I think I was very lucky in that department, but I still had turmoil inside me.  Well I guess I will blog about that later.