WORLDS BIGGEST FOOL

Don't ever believe that giving someone all your Love would ever make them Love you. I guess having someone who loves you and would be there for you is not important to some people. Even as hurt and angry as I'am my stupid heart still loves her. I wish I could just cut it out. I have fought so hard for someone for 8 years, just to have her throw it back at me. I thought maybe she would understand how important is was for us to still be friends, because she is going through the same thing wanting this with someone else. She said I did mean something to her but NO...you don't treat anorther person like she has me. Even if you cared an ounce you wouldn't treat them so cruel. My stupid mind is having such a hard time excepting this and I keep thinking I had to have done something cruel to her for her to treat me so bad. I'm having nightmares because I hate this world so bad right now and would give anything to be out of here. I just don't know what to do. I'm so lost without her. I know I deserve everything that is being dished out to me. I guess it is hard to take this punishment that life has decided to dump on me. I only wanted to show her some kindness and a love she has never had before. I think it is also hard thinking about the rest of my life not having her to hold me. I know people pretty good and I know I will never find anyone who will give me the physical love I need so badly. I don't mean just sex. The holding, laughing together and wrapping up in each others arms at night. Most people want to sleep on there side of the bed and not touch. Oh well. Maybe someday I will be able to get over this, but right now I can't see that ever happening. I just wish she would see the person that I see inside her and let her come out. She is someone who does like laughing and having a good time, but she would much rather keep her pain and be with someone else who would never give back. Right now I will keep praying never to wake up. Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to take. PLEASE